Wednesday

Homophobia- the comedic riff that lifts the veil

While the question of "Marriage Equality" is viewed as being about marriage as a legal or social institution, it is something quite different-- the removal of the remnants of stigmatization and taboo against homosexual relationships.  This premise which makes the retort to opponents of "This will not harm traditional marriage," irrelevant means we has been addressing the wrong questions while we have not begun to explore the underlying taboo, why it exists, and what is its function and its value. 


It is important to acknowledge that in the recent past, this taboo against homosexuality has caused great suffering and oppression of those who engaged in this practice or lived this life.  This can lead to the conclusion that this would return unless full equality, a virtual gender blindness including in marriage is achieved.  If this were the case it would be a strong argument for legalizing same sex marriage, but I do not see this as a possibility.


Karl Mannheim, the eminent sociologist philosopher,  explored the subject of mass movements extensively in 1930s Germany, later translated into his opus  "Ideology and Utopia."   In a nutshell, his major conclusion can be squeezed onto a bumper sticker proclaiming, "Where you stand depends on where you sit."  Those of us who took seriously those courses in logic, philosophy and epistemology may need an interpretation of the bumper sticker summary.  It boils down to his argument that a logic, or a jurisprudence,  that is posited on an exalted set of enduring values is actually an epiphenomenon of group dynamics; that where the one sits, his or her group association at various levels, will whether consciously or not, determine where he stands on issues.     

Mannheim worked in a different era, where his ideas were lauded for their intrinsic truth by those from Marxist Herbert Marcuse to the ideological forebear of American Neo-Conservatism, Leo Strauss. I'm going to apply his principles to  make a serious observation based on a critical analysis of a humorous essay.  It's this 2006  N.Y Times OpEd  on the film "Brokeback Mountrain by the co-creator and principle writer of the situation comedy, "Seinfeld,"  Larry David.  

In his piece, under protection of the ancient flag of the jester, Mr. David commented on male sexual dynamics that I contend are the root of antipathy towards same sex marriage and paradoxically, also of its advocacy.   Let's start by dispelling the illusion that questions of gay rights are the same whether among male or females.  While this alliance is politically advantageous,  for mammalian males with few exceptions-humans not being one of them, sexual dominance is a vital imperative.  This article is about male homosexuality only, as is Mr. Davids OpEd.

Let's start where Mr. David describes his group identity, that is, where he sits:

And I love gay people. Hey, I've got gay acquaintances. Good acquaintances, who know they can call me anytime if they had my phone number. I'm for gay marriage, gay divorce, gay this and gay that. I just don't want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot. That's all.

He proclaims that in spite of what he will acknowledge, he is not among that group that would do harm to gays by denying them equality of marriage.  Yet, those who oppose same sex marriage, by large majorities of both sides of the political divide, are perfectly willing to provide same sex civil unions that includes everything but the word, marriage.  Proposition 8 in California is acknowledged as doing exactly this.  David uses the essence of humor- paradox, conflict, hidden motivations that have no sanctioned social expression-until the perfect release of laughter.      

But I don't trust him (myself). If two cowboys, male icons who are 100 percent all-man, can succumb, what chance to do I have, half- to a quarter of a man, depending on whom I'm with at the time? I'm a very susceptible person, easily influenced, a natural-born follower with no sales-resistance.

He follows with a self effacing riff to show that he is talking about his own idiosyncratic weaknesses, and not in anyway making a larger issue. And he substitutes ambivalent potential attraction to men with sales resistance, that he is a dunce (who just happens to have identified the greatest mass market in television history)  And then he talks about the appeal of the gay life:

And gay guys always seem like they're having a great time. At the Christmas party I went to, they were the only ones who sang. Boy that looked like fun. I would love to sing, but this weighty, self-conscious heterosexuality I'm saddled with won't permit it.

I just know if I saw that movie, the voice inside my head that delights in torturing me would have a field day. "You like those cowboys, don't you? They're kind of cute. Go ahead, admit it, they're cute. You can't fool me, gay man. Go ahead, stop fighting it. You're gay! You're gay!"

Larry David, in the tradition of all important humorists, has touched on some profound truths. First, the meaning of homosexuality is quite different for men and women, while gay rights advocates have conflated both to the detriment of useful discussion. Straight women can sing show tunes with joyful abandonment, while men do so at a certain risk. David, because of his being one of the preeminent humorists of our era, can use these observations as grist for humor, while others have a more limited defense to the stresses that he has converted into satire. 

Let's consider the possibility that the movement for gay rights is something else, the displaced dissatisfaction with a gender identity that causes Larry David, and perhaps the bulk of the American male population to be reluctant to learn, feel and then express with lyrical joyful emotion the songs of American Musical Theater.  As with all brilliant synedoches, the trivial singing a song represents the profound, the free expression of joy.     

While only Mr. David can write of this reluctance; others, like the millions who regularly watched Jerry Seinfeld and his buddies who traverse the land-mines of masculinity, are forced into another option. They are subtly pressured to maintain a Seinfeld like parody of masculinity, epitomized on the show by a trivializing relationship to women.   

While if not living the overt anti-masculinity of stereotypical gays, they feel a part of it by endorsing the proposal for absolute equality.  They won't sing the songs, but they, unlike those others, identify with those who do.   In other social strata maintaining this masculine image takes other forms, more violent, more costly to the man and those with whom he comes in contact.  

My conclusion is that the growing acceptance of same sex marriage among educated secular Americans is a response to the seismic change in the deepest attitudes of gender identification that have been in transition for the last half century. The headline making legal-political issues are an epi-phenomenon that do not address the intra psychic dimension of these changes. The most profound of these changes is the assumption, as reflected in this recent N.Y.Times survey, that adults who are living together are “partners” in a sexual relationship. Thus, one adverse consequence of the success of the gay marriage movement is on the status of committed non sexual same gender friendships-Platonic relationships. It is not only denigration, it is a denial that such friendships even exist, as shown by this N.Y. Times review of a Spanish Film El Bola that made the unsupportable leap that because the child's Godfather died of AIDs he must have been homosexual.  

The accident of configuration of X and Y chromosome finds expression in our physical emotional makeup that is reflected in our legal cultural norms.  But nothing in genes limit the pleasure of singing a show tune, or enjoying the full range of human emotion. enjoying same gender affection of non sexual friendship being one of them. The movement for Marriage Equality  is a proxy for the kind of change in expression of sexuality and interpersonal relationships that must be an ongoing project of any evolving society. It is inherently a great challenge, as the sexual imperative is vital and will not be denied, but only directed into culturally, or sub-culturally, defined channels.  

When we accept this greater challenge, when we separate the evolving meaning of sexual identity from this single issue of same sex marriage,  which it is only one aspect of, we have a chance of actually dealing with this question, while not exacerbating the political social divide that now more than ever threatens to destroy our society.  

This is a discussion that we have not even begun to have. 


 
     

Saturday

The Political Cost of Gay Marriage-dailykos essay, 2006

Today the New York Court of Appeals (which is the highest state court) decided on the constitutionality of prohibition of Gay Marriage.  In was the mirror image of the Massachusetts decision of March 4 20003 deciding the same question.  There by a 4 to 3 majority , the case Hillary Goodridge et al  mandated that those of the same sex must be given exactly the same rights of marriage of those of different sexes.  Furthermore, compliance with the order of the court was mandated on a time frame that precluded the option of overrule by amendment to the state constitution.

In the Massachusetts decision, the three vote minority opinion, written by Martha Sosman rejected the appropriateness of judicial determination of this issue, saying rather, as in the N.Y. Decision, that it belongs rightly to the representative branch, the legislature.  This decision prompted a spate of constitutional amendments to be voted on during the election of 2004.  Ohio was lost by Kerry by 60,000 votes, a margin that most commentators attribute to those who came out to cast a vote in favor of the amendment to prohibit gay marriage in that state.

Was this Martha Sosman who voted to deny gay equality some sort of right wing fundamentalist?  Not quite.  Before being selected for the high court she spent eight years as head of Massachusetts's Planned Parenthood. The Federal Gay Marriage Amendment that recently was voted down, is almost universally depicted, even among some moderate Republicans, as a pure wedge issue, of no legitimate purpose other than to rally the conservative base.  It is often paired in this category with it's twin, the Flag Burning Amendment.  This is not political analysis, it is the echoing of a simplification that ignores any deeper understanding.

Passage of the Flag Burning Amendment would have had no substantive consequences, but its symbolism would have been enormous.  Judicial imposition, or it's converse, constitutional prohibition, of Gay Marriage has consequences, both to the specific target population, party politics and to society at large.  The focus of progressives has been exclusively on the effect on gays, at a sacrifice, I would argue, of a more productive overview. This happens to be a wedge issue, but that is coincidental to it's meaningful societal implications.

What would have been the consequences had Sosman's dissent in the Massachusetts case garnered a single additional vote.  Would Gays have been persecuted and driven from their homes?  Would those with children have them taken from them?  Would squads of goons break down their doors to make sure they were not in bed together?   None of these things would have happened.  The similarity between prohibition of same sex marriage and laws against marriage across races is often made to reinforce the moral imperative of breaking down this last prejudice against gays.  But before miscegenation laws were voided, where applicable, the horrors just mentioned were exactly what would have happened to a black and white couple.  Had the Massachusetts decision gone the other way, gays could have availed themselves of civil unions and lived exactly as they are living as married couples.  Well not exactly the same.

There would have been a difference, a lack of a state imprimatur of complete acceptance. There would have been financial costs in taxes and governmental benefits. And it would have been more difficult to get other advantages of spousal relationships, such as hospital visits and end of life decisions.  And, perhaps, there would have been a delay in further progress toward complete acceptance.  During this delay, if in fact there were to be one, gays would have been merely couples, partners rather than spouses. Stigmatization? Whether the decision ultimately increased or decreased it, is an open question.  My guess is contempt for gays is not dependent on a court decision, any more than acceptance is.  Stripped of the passion of outrage, that would have been pretty much the totality of the cost of a different decision.

The benefit, it turns out, is that John Kerry (all things being the same) would have won Ohio, and the election.  We would have been out of Iraq.  We would have been talking to N. Korea.  We would have started to tackle the structural deficit.  We would have re staffed FEMA to have better responded to Katrina. And there would be a billion more people throughout the world who respected the United States.

It is my personal opinion that the decision today in New York, and in Georgia, affirming the validity of an amendment prohibiting Gay Marriage is the best thing that could have happened to the Progressive movement.  Read the complete Massachusetts's decision that I have linked above, especially Sosman's dissent, for the best articulation of this position.

There is a deeper argument to be made against same sex Marriage under the rubric of heterosexualism.  It is not a brand, or even a meme.  It is now subsumed under homophobia or religious fundamentalism, and as such will be treated with the contempt felt for those concepts.  Heterosexualism has no formal articulation that I am aware of.  Its argument resting on intra psychic and sociological concepts, arouses no passions. With no victims or villains, it is barely heard above the din of those who see this issue as a central front of our national culture war.

I am not even asserting that the argument of heterosexualism  should prevail, only that it should be aired.  At the very least it will temper the contempt that many express for those on the other side with some understanding of their motivations. If I don't get too beat up for this diary, I may give expanding on this concept a try.
I firmly believe that the thrust of the progressive movement in this moment of time has history, morality and reason on its side.  There is nothing to fear from expanding any discussion.  We will only lose if we hunker down and hate our enemies they way they hate us.
----------------------
This dailykos diary recieved over a hundred comments, and three recommends, but not a single TR (a mark of rejection)  I have only looked at this four years after writing it, as DK3 is about to be resolved.  I hadn't the heart to re-read it, remembering that I had been castigated.   But forgotten were the respectful, thoughtful, and erudite comments from those who were gay, but could understand (while strongly disagreeing) with my presentation.  Here's an example- as long as the original diary:
---------------

 Hmm (12+ / 0-)

There isn't any one issue you can point to and say, this is the most important thing if our cause is justice. It doesn't work that way.
What you're asking for, essentially, is for a whole bunch of people to just tacitly accept discrimination that directly affects their ability to live their lives freely, so that we can focus on what you deem "more important", right?
Equality is not a bargainable political poker chip. That's what you're missing here.
Would those with children have them taken from them?
Actually, legal cases like this do come up from time to time. People have lost their children over this stuff. I don't enjoy the continual comparisons with the Black civil rights struggle, either, because I think there are important differences in the challenges our communities face -- but that in no way minimizes the importance of equality under the law.
My guess is contempt for gays is not dependent on a court decision, any more than acceptance is.
These things work like a gigantic feedback loop. Social change and legal/political change both have to happen, because they feed each other.
The benefit, it turns out, is that John Kerry (all things being the same) would have won Ohio, and the election.
Um, probably not. They'd have picked a different wedge. Like abortion, say. They've got plenty of wedge issues.
Speaking as somebody who believes that none of us has real, meaningful freedom until we all do, I'm rather glad when we don't throw any group of people under a bus to improve our electoral prospects.
I certainly don't think you're a troll. I just think you're wrong.

 Thank you (3+ / 0-)


Recommended by:
Spit, vansterdam, lgmcp
for your courteous and thougtful response.

 I think you mean well (4+ / 0-)


Recommended by:
homogenius, vansterdam, lgmcp, Topaz7
though we disagree -- but in the future, I would suggest that before you write a diary like this, you take a good, deep breath and spend a lot of time focusing yourself on a particular point. Because I think the point you're trying to make -- which I still vehemently disagree with, but is a valid argument -- is getting lost in a lot of the side issues you bring up here.
Some topics are very difficult, and this is one of them. Particularly since there are a lot of us, myself included, who are directly affected by these sorts of legal decisions -- that makes it hard to argue abstractly, because these aren't abstractions in many of our lives.
Please don't censor yourself, but please consider carefully how best to make your point.
  • right by Leggy Starlitz, Thu Jul 06, 2006 at 03:30:36 PM PST (4+ / 0-)

  •  I did (1+ / 0-)


    Recommended by:
    lgmcp
    I gave this several deep breaths before sending it out.
    The problem is that increasing numbers of the right simply reject, instinctively, viscerally, any liberal argument.  They don't care whether it is to promote Gay Rights, End the war in Iraq, or deal with Global Warming.  If it is from the Liberal camp, it is simply rejected, our imune system fights a virus.
    Many on dailykos react to the gay marriage issue with the same emotion as if abortion were being curtailed, or other issues where lives are on the line.  Many do not make a distinction between limiting Gays to psuedo marriage, civil unions, and forcing them back into the closet of fear and shame.
    There is a difference.  A big difference. But if it were I who felt that the tide of liberation were being reversed by a court decision, and this ending of the movement towards acceptence was being promoted by some bloger like myself, I could be just as enraged as those who revile my diary.
    Not sure if I really could have done it much differently. But thanks for the suggestions and the respectful response.
    •  try again (1+ / 0-)


      Recommended by:
      vansterdam
      Your thoughts are not new; similar diaries have been posted in the past.  The difference being is other diarists had cogent arguments for their beliefs.  You do not; rather you have a weak argument that swirls around a dissenting opinion in MA.
      When do I get to vote on your marriage?
      [ Parent ]


    •  The thing is (4+ / 0-)


      Recommended by:
      GN1927, vansterdam, lgmcp, Mophio
      where lives are on the line
      it's hard to figure that out. Lives sometimes are on the line, as far as social acceptance goes, for example. The suicide rates among gay/lesbian/trans teens continue to be outrageous, and while lethal hate crimes have been blessedly going down in the last few years, they do still happen.
      Personally, I'm pretty damned mellow about the whole thing, but then I've been involved in gay activism since I was a teen. So I can look at it and say, man, 10 years ago, I didn't think gay marriage or even civil unions were going to happen in my lifetime. Now we've got one state doing the former, several doing the latter, and we're making slow progress all the time.
      Many do not make a distinction between limiting Gays to psuedo marriage, civil unions, and forcing them back into the closet of fear and shame.
      These are all related things, is where we disagree. I think that until being queer is exactly as acceptable as not being queer, we're going to be an unjust country. While I don't expect perfection all at once, I do expect us to always move toward greater justice -- which can't always happen in little comfy baby steps, because people start to demand their equality. Which is something they have every right -- even responsibility -- to do.
      Even abortion, BTW, isn't just about "lives on the line" to me; that's not even the most important piece of the issue as far as I'm concerned. Abortion rights are fundamentally about equality for women, about freedom to control their (our) own bodies and life-altering decisions. I think one of the places we differ is that you're looking at this in terms of impact physically (life, finances, hospital visitation) and I'm looking at this in terms of impact socially (Women are equal adults, and must have control of our lives. Gays are equal adults, and must have control of our lives.). I think viewed the way you seem to be looking at it, your opinion makes more sense -- but viewed more holistically, not just as a physical set of things but as a message of one's social worth, mine makes more sense.
      •  Good Point (0 / 0)

        I suppose nothing is more infuriating than someone who tries to impose rationality (me) on something that is very personal.
        I do understand, and expect every attack that I recieved.  Actually most were rather reasonable and only a very few personally denegrating.
        But what if people like me kept silent, as I probably should have.  You would never know that there are people who are not accepting, lets say for now, of gay marriage, but are quite accepting of gay, whats the word "lifestyle"
        There are large numbers, perhaps half of our country, who do not have the hostility towards Bush that precludes my being a Republican.  If they are ambivalent on other issues, and feel that anything short of full acceptance of Gay marraige will be seen by liberals as a hated "homophobe."  They just may figure, screw it, I'll join the other camp, where no one hates me for having the values that I have.
        I am disturbed that I have not gotten a single recommendatin for my diary.  Not that I give a shit since they are not convertable to frequent flier miles, but it indicates the reluctance of liberals to deviate from the party line.
        This is dangerous for a movement, especially one that prides itself on openenss to ideas and an emprirical view of the world.
        •  Recommendations (2+ / 0-)


          Recommended by:
          vansterdam, Mophio
          are a bit much to ask for something that IMO you probably could have laid out better. It's hard to get an unpopular view recommended here, but it's not impossible if it's extremely well argued.
          It's also not just about "the party line". It's about what most of us feel is fundamentally right -- the equality under the law that is supposedly guaranteed to all americans, even those with whom we disagree. I don't really care whether you approve of "my lifestyle" -- given how strange my lifestyle actually is, I can almost guarantee you wouldn't. But I do care about whether you think I have the right to live my life as I wish, so long as I'm not hurting anybody.
          Believe me, I don't live in a gay liberal paradise, and I am never, ever allowed, not even for a second, to forget that:
          there are people who are not accepting, lets say for now, of gay marriage, but are quite accepting of gay, whats the word "lifestyle"
          Still, I don't think you should remain silent. I just think that, like many controversial and personally charged issues, you do have to be careful with this one if you really want people to see what you're trying to say.
          •  Come on (0 / 0)

            Can you honestly imagine any argument that expresses my sentiment that you would recommend.  Just what kind of an argument would you find well crafted as to be worth recommending. Give me some hint!
            When the words that we need to discuss an issue all become so politicized that common ground is precluded we are in trouble as a society.  I used quotations for the word lifestyle because I was aware that that word is considered insulting to many gays.
            But just what word is there to denote what I refered to as "lifestyle" in contrast to marriage, which is lifestyle with governmental approval.
            If any group contributes to making discussion of any topic impossible, they are perpetuating the cultural divide that we all suffer from.




    •  Here's another question for you (2+ / 0-)


      Recommended by:
      lgmcp, Mophio
      if one purpose of the courts is not to protect the rights of the minority against the will of the majority, then what exactly else are the courts for, and what body of the government protects us from establishing laws that strip the rights of any group that is 49% of the population or less?
      •  Your point (1+ / 0-)


        Recommended by:
        Spit
        is well taken. In principle I agree with you, the courts are the bulwark against oppression by the majority.
        I can't lay out my entire case here, or maybe not at all.  Sosman's dissent conveyed her conception of the proper place for the legislature and of the courts.
        Majority rule certainly can be oppressive, it must be checked.  The question that was decided in two different ways in Mass and in MY is which theory of government allocation of power of the three branches should prevail.
        See my previous comment for a more personal response.
        •  Agree with you on this (0 / 0)

          they're working under very different theories of the role of the court. I tend to agree much more with the MA decision -- I think that the most fundamental and important role of courts is to protect individual freedoms, unpopular opinions, so forth. I believe very firmly that this was also the opinion of many of the founders of our country, who very much saw and debated the dangers inherent in a "majority rule" system that had no concept of fundamental rights or a body to make sure those were not infringed upon.






My Alzheimer's Screening, personal narrative and technical discussion

May, 2012

This is an impressionistic narrative, and as such I leave in my feelings, even if later I reconsidered them. It is important to leave this in, as it shows the emotional effect of this getting this information.

Several months ago, the researcher I referred to in the earlier essay, Dr. James Brewer, had an interview in the local paper mentioning a free memory test that got an overflow response. When I called it had been filled up, and they had planned additional sessions the following week, but they only had afternoon openings. I'm a morning person, so set up an appointment for January 24th at 9 AM, but first I verified that I could remain anonymous.

I was uncertain even after they called to confirm the appointment the day before. My wife suggested that I not go, and that I could always say, in spite of my confirming the appointment, "I forgot!" But, I decided to do it, and my first interaction was with the guard as I pulled into the parking lot, and asked him where room C-129 was located. He said, "Oh, yes, that's the Alzheimer's screening. It's right down the driveway and up the stairs." And then with a kindly smile he said "If you like I can walk you over there." I am a pretty friendly guy, affable is the word, but I'm not used to being treated with this much consideration. I thought, "If the test turns out bad, at least there's some advantage in being an Alzheimer's person."

I found my way to the office all by myself and was given the forms to fill out and then I was ushered into a small room by Sandy, who introduced herself as a psychometrician. It's not exactly a profession, but a collection of approvals to administer various types of psychological tests under the supervision of a Ph.D. Psychologist. She was a pleasant young women, and we chatted a bit, and we both felt comfortable. Later I asked her how she handled bad news, when someone was told that he or she had tested in the lowest of the three categories that read:
"PROBABLE DECLINE IN COGNITION that is greater than expected
She said, "Yes, sometimes they are crying," but that she could send them to a special debriefing room, where there were other people who would explain what that meant, so she didn't have to go into the details.

She explained the first part of the test where she would tell me a story that I would have to repeat at the end of the session. The story went like this, (one that I will probably remember to my dying day) "Mrs Greeeley who had four children worked in cafeteria in a school in Chicago. "One day when she was walking home she was robbed of $46, and the police took up a collection to help her" She repeated it twice, and I listened, repeating to myself, and trying to find some meaning to it. Then came the rest of the test, starting with copying a line drawing of a box, connecting some dots, recognizing three drawing of common zoo animals, and counting backwards by seven from a hundred.

Then came the tough one. She said, I'm going to give a letter of the alphabet and for one minute I'm going to ask you to give all the words that begin with this letter. You can't use common names, or different forms of the same word such as "pain" and "painful." Unlike some of the other elements, I hadn't heard of this, and there were some questions about it, but I said fine, let's go. And she gave me the letter. It was "F."

She had not mentioned whether profanities were acceptable or not, and the clock was running, so in an instant I gave the first word that came to my mind when someone asks to list F words. Yep, confidently starting with "the F word" cleared my mind, allowing me to calmly recite words that came easily to me, all different, none proper nouns, and only one that was a variation of another. I gave this drill to a friend, I could almost see him struggling to avoid the many forbidden words. Soon, she had administered all the tests, and seemed ready to wrap things up, so I reminded her that she had to ask me about Mrs. Greeley She looked at her watch, and I had gone too fast, like in the old days when I was the first to turn in my arithmetic test and had to kill time for the rest of the kids to finish.

She handed me a little yellow paper that read in part:

The individual named above scored 28 out of 30 on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA)

Compared with the typical performance of individuals similar in age and level of education, this individual's (me) overall cognitive performance (based on scores of both screening measures), suggests:

X NORMAL, AGE-APPROPRIATE COGNITION.

Stunning! Almost all people beyond a given age start to experience loss of short term memory. and many fear the worst. I never had a good one, and couldn't learn foreign vocabularies to save my life, or algebraic formulas that had no meaning to me. Concepts were, and are, my strong point, and got me fairly far in academia and a decent career. But, my declining memory was too reminiscent of my mother, who at just about my age, precipitously declined, ending her life in an Alzheimer's facility not recognizing anyone in her family.

This little yellow sheet of paper lifted this burden, this sense of dread of a decline that was going to come, probably sooner rather than later. I went into the next room, the one for we normal people, those whom, if we chose to participate, would be compared to those others, those who were called patients by some.

Getting a letter of acceptance from your ideal college. Being invited to the party of all the in people. Being told that the tumor that you had the last time was gone, not a trace of it left. Or perhaps, as one man once told me years ago...."When we finally got to the station we were separated.  I was put in line with the smaller children and the older kids, those who were bigger and stronger, were in a different line. I somehow sensed what was going to happen to us, and knew what I had to do. I broke away and rushed up to the guard shouting and making a muscle, "look, I'm strong, I can work....." and he let me go with the big kids."

Euphoria is something that I rarely feel, and have a fear of, as it is usually fragile. But now it's somewhat different. I feel more solid, more confident, less vulnerable than three days ago before I took this dementia assessment. I feel that I have a future, that I can do things, learn things, handle challenges. But now for the other side of this coin, the dark side, the difficult side that I need your help on.

What if I had gotten two more wrong on the test and gotten a 26, instead of a 28. What if I had not gotten the F word out of my way and gotten caught up in not saying it. Or what if I had taken an afternoon appointment, when my mind is slower by a few notches. What if that yellow sheet had began with the words, "POSSIBLE DECLINE IN COGNITION" and I had been sent into that other room, the sad room, the room of tears and fear.

In the room with the normals I met the psychology director, CJ. and then another man and his son who had taken the test previously and did not meet the cut off for normals, so he was going to have a private meeting. I sent him an email but haven't heard back from him. When I asked CJ about the test, she said something that had meaning to me based on my advanced work in Psychology, where I studied statistics, epidemiology and test construction. It was thirty five years ago, but I remember what I learned, and I new what "Validity" meant, which is that a test relates to some meaningful external criteria. This medical board confirmed statement confirms it's defects, "A disadvantage of the MoCA is that conclusions regarding its validity can only be made in memory clinic settings." (see addendum below for comprehensive study on MoCA)

So I asked her some questions. The yellow score sheet said that I was compared to individuals of my age and educational level, except it was not the case. She told me that they did not use age norms, something that is a very big deal, since unless corrected for the normal decrement of short term memory due to aging, you can not accurately assess underlying pathology. She said reliable data weren't available, which is only partly true as it had just been developed, and even if it were true, the known deficit due to aging could have been approximated and used for this test.

Education is another known variable, as those with the same underlying dementia perform better if they are better educated; and if looking for pathology, this should be equalized. In my research on MoCA the cutoff score for mild dementia, which was a scant two points lower than mine, seems to be decided by custom, as in "this is what is usually used."

(This paragraph is a bit of hyperbole, a cathartic rant painting the researchers as unfeeling obsessed scientists- They aren't really like that at all, even if I felt that way for a while) Those who are administering this test, those who need a supply of subjects to be evaluated in their longitudinal study, do need a supply of such volunteers. If they were using laboratory rats, and they do have some that are bred to have dementia, it would not be too important what criteria were used in selection, as the scientific demand would be for consistency, such as how long it takes to run a maze before, and then after the independent variable treatment is administered. We don't worry too much about how rats feel about things,as they don't vote and have very little political clout. Frightened, elderly humans who fear that they will be transformed by a disease that they can't control have pretty limited options also.

In reality, this program is careful not to make any false promises. They are honest, perhaps to a fault, and do not even offer the possibility of a cure. But it does offer access to experimental treatments that just may possibly help those with dementing disease, or perhaps more importantly, offer hope. It also offers palliative care, support groups for patient and family, and access to social workers and other services that can be beneficial.

I am writing this essay at this moment because the euphoria that I am feeling is exactly matched by its antithesis, the depression, that the others, those who went to the other room, what I could have been feeling myself. The disease of Senile dementia is the underlying cause of the suffering I'm describing, not those who are doing research to ameliorate it, yet this does not absolve them of the obligation to cushion the inherent distress of those subjects who participate. They seem to know this, and are actively seeking feedback such as this, which is a good sign.

There are larger issues that go beyond this study, such as the relative benefit of the previous paternalistic ethos of medical care when a patient was never even told the severity of their terminal disease. Is there a balance, a way of only telling what is needed, to allow one the opportunity of hope, that could be a reasonable approach, especially for a society that shows no mercy to one who is dying in pain, whether physical or psychic.

I'm thrilled that I got to go with the big boys, to be one of the healthy work crew, to feel the sun and wind on my face, to survive. But, unlike my friend as a child at the gates of the concentration camp, for older people death is closer for us all, and the looming question is how much suffering must be endured before release. We don't handle this too well in our country. Doctor K, who courageously tried to end the suffering of those who faced the same fate as determined by the spurious MoCa, was condemned to prison and his name was made into a joke as punishment for his effrontery. We demand fighting to the very end, at any sacrifice of other societal needs or imposition of human suffering.

Those working at this research facility are dedicated people. Dr. Brewer (see link to a video of his lecture below) has corresponded extensively with me, making his cogent case for the value of his cutting edge work that promises to not only be a predictor of Alzheimer's, but to use exact MRI measurements to provide an objective index of the disease that could someday lead to a cure. He is not in charge of the screening test, which I'm sure has passed various ethics committee approvals and extensive analysis of potential liability. The director of psychology, whom I refer to as CJ, has responded to many of my concerns about MoCA, rightly pointing out that those who would be most distressed by a false positive, are extensively counseled about the limitations of the testing and not simply shown the dooor after such devastating news.

Yet, real issues remain. Group dynamics, whether among police, military, theoretical physicists, or medical researchers all have a certain pattern. Given their challenges, the need to define values and to resist outside influence is always great. In spite of what the Alzhiemers Association says (see note below) memory loss comes with advanced age to all, and differentiating it from disease is essential. We put "normal" and "disease" in different conceptual categories, yet one lives long enough, however we describe it, severe memory decline is certain. The only choice we have in the near term is to deal with this as a society, something that should not be consigned to any profession, that while dedicated to cure, has tangential interests that can conflict with best achieving the larger conception of this goal, one that transcends medical cure to look at acceptance, resolution, and well being.
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Addenda and Notes

First let me point out the complexity of this subject, as even the diagnostic terminology is ambiguous. The best source for those who want to research this is Medscape, which posts online the full research reports of all medical conditions including dementing ones. Here's a link to Medscape with a sample search.

Other search engines such as Google will lead you to commercial promotions, many by MDs, that promise cures that have never been validated as effective.

Alzheimer's disease AD is a specific disease but also the most common term for profound loss of cognitive abilities associated with aging. It is both a syndrome, a collection of symptoms, and with a theoretical physiological cause. This is a problem that is similar to that of psychiatric nomenclature, as well described by
this article in The New York Times that points out that the seeming accuracy of such diagnoses is an myth that is well understood by the profession, if not the public.

"Dementia" is sometimes used as synonymous with Alzheimer's or AD, while other times used to describe the final state of cognitive decline whether by injury, stroke or other causes.

Mild and Moderate Cognitive Impairment is best understood by looking at some Medscape articles, as any simple explanation will be misleading. Unlike what is commonly expressed in the mass media, this conditions is NOT the inevitable precursor to full AD. Here is a early small study of this finding Mild Cognitive Impairment Does Not Always Progress to Alzheimer's Disease

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Is Memory Loss a Natural Part of Aging?

Alzheimers Association FAQ undoubtedly sponsors many valuable programs for those with this disease. My opinion of them was challenged by their claim that questioned whether memory loss is a natural part of aging." by this statement: "Whether memory naturally declines to some extent remains an open question. Many people feel that their memory becomes less sharp as they grow older, but determining whether there is any scientific basis for this belief is a research challenge still being addressed."

Wikipedia's article on aging brain gives 46 studies showing the ubiquity of this decline, and there are hundreds, if not thousands, more. The only explanation for this false statement is their desire to subtly increase the fear of this disease, in the absence of which they claim, there is no memory decline.

This article from the editors of Medscape lists 8 types of memory, 2 of them being relatively stable throughout life, while the other six "decline with age." This is settled science, and not the "open question" that the Alzheimer's Association claims. Such distortions from such a respected organization is unfortunate.

I contacted  Professor Mario Garrett of San Diego State University, who happened to be on the scientific advisory board of Alzheimer's Association, who forwarded my message challenging their statement above.  They subsequently did change the wording, eliminating the "open question" phrase, but still placed it under the heading of Alzheimer's Myths,

Myth 1: Memory loss is a natural part of aging.

Reality: As people age, it's normal to have occasional memory problems, such as forgetting the name of a person you've recently met. However, Alzheimer's is more than occasional memory loss. It's a disease that causes brain cells to malfunction and ultimately die. When this happens, an individual may forget the name of a longtime friend or what roads to take to return to a home they've lived in for decades.


They include something that is common among all people over Medicare age, forgetting the name of a longtime friend, as being indicative of having Alzheimer's disease.  This is not only false, it is ethically questionable, especially given then knowledge that they have responded to the objection that I made of their over-inclusiveness, and have been sensitized to the importance of this issue.
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Home Page of the Shiley-Marcos Alzheimer's Disease Research Center (ADRC), in the Department of Neurosciences, at the University of California, San Diego in San Diego, CA, USA. This gives an outline of the complex entities of funding, professions, and specific research under this umbrella.

This is a link to the newsletter, Currents, written for those subjects in the research program explaining new advances along with opportunities for participation in specific research programs. This gives a taste of some of the aspects of being part of a community that is one of the benefits of this larger program.

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Emotional consequences of learning about one's dementia prognosis

This is a hard concept to measure. This recent study, Reaction to a Dementia Diagnosis in Individuals With Alzheimer's Disease and Mild Cognitive Impairment, shows no increased depression upon learning of this prognosis. The limits on this conclusion that are considered in the discussion section of the report are important.

Here's the study showing that knowledge of prognosis is correlated with increased depression.

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Reporting cognitive condition to individuals in UCSD screening

The report given to those who take the screening test states that it is based on "individuals similar in age and levels of education" which is not the case. The Aging Project Director, Cicily Jenkins Ph.D, told me after my testing that reliable norms were not available. She was aware of this article, Normative data for the Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA) in a population-based sample, in the professional journal, Neurology on September 14, 2011.

The full article, provided to me by the main researcher, Heidi C. Rossetti, Ph.D, contains statistics for Education, Ethnicity and Age, allowing for correction of the raw score to reflect underlying pathology.

Important Note: Dr. Jenkens, CJ, has responded with an explanation for this criticism, that is by and large reasonable. While the MoCA is as I described, there is another component of the assessment, Story A of the Wechsler Memory Scale, that is incorporated into the feedback that does have these age and education norms. And those who are told they have memory problems are given extensive counseling before leaving, with the goal of assuaging their concerns. Whether this is effective or not, is still an open question.

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This is the link to a video lecture by James Brewer that is an excellent primer of the state of current knowledge of dementia, along with his specific work on developing computerized MRI imagery that gives a more precise understanding and accurate prediction of dementia.

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Studies that refute the common belief that Dementia is a inevitably a progressively degenerative condition.

The diagnosis of MCI, or Mild Cognitive Impairment, commonly implies an annual progression to full Alzheimer's disease. A N.Y. Times article over a decade ago (that I have not been able to locate) gave this as 25%. Knowing this was absurd, which has been confirmed, I refuted this in a letter to the executive editor, pointing out the dire effect such misinformation would have on the elderly who know their memory is declining. He never responded, and the statistic remained.
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Essay in a Democratic Blog, Dailykos.com on lowering the threshold on Alzheimers:  Lost your keys: You now have Alzheimer’s

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/04/21/968327/-Lost-your-keys-You-now-have-Alzheimer-s-
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Letter from Dr. Brewer on reading this paper on inappropriate proposed diagnosis procedure:

Hi Al,

Well put. Where you see me as presenting dangerous information to patients who seek it, I see you as arguing to withhold such information for fear that the patient (with their physician’s guidance) can’t adequately handle it. To me, such withholding of information is akin to the old paternalistic days of medicine when doctors would decide not to tell their patients about their terminal cancer, thinking “it’s better for them not to know.”

Regarding false positives, it is important to note that our volumetric assessment is not a diagnostic test nor should it be presented as such by the physicians who order it. It simply lets the physician quantify what is already objectively in the images… that the hippocampus (the brain’s memory structure) is smaller than expected for age and this suggests neurodegeneration. Hippocampal atrophy is not a diagnosis, just like a rash on the skin is not a diagnosis- it is an observation that helps the physician make a better assessment of the patient. (E.g. this rash might be part of why your arm is itching… This hippocampal atrophy might be part of why you are having problems with your memory. We need to do more assessment to get to the cause and proper treatment). Do not think that I am equating the severity of having a rash with the severity of having hippocampal atrophy- just trying to make a point about the difference between a physical observation and a diagnosis. On the other hand, do not respond that “there is no treatment.” If poor vascular health or diabetes is concomitant with the hippocampal atrophy, then they should be aggressively addressed. Clinical trials in AD might be pursued. Education about neurodegeneration should be pursued. Just like any test in medicine, whether it is low iron, or white matter lesions in the brain, or hippocampal atrophy, the observation is taken in conjunction with the overall clinical picture to reach the best assessment or “diagnosis” possible. Even the opinions that the physician’s express are more likely to be assessments than hard and fast diagnoses.

Taking on a single researcher, like me, who has interest in providing patients with a biomarker of neurodegeneration will not get you the impact you seek, I think. You would have to, one-by-one, take on hundreds of individuals and even companies to get there. In a few months, FDA approval is expected for an imaging test that will display whether one has “the pathology of Alzheimer’s disease” in his or her brain. It is a compound produced by Lilly and it is called Amyvid (generic name florbetapir). This one is much more controversial, in my opinion, because it will be heavily marketed as “the Alzheimer’s Scan” when, in fact, 30 percent of healthy individuals without memory complaint or any cognitive problem have the elevated protein, Amyloid, in their brains. Therefore, a person with a memory complaint can have elevated amyloid without it truly being the cause of their complaint. They will go home having been told they “have Alzheimer’s” when in fact, the complaint might be due to a bladder medication or sleep medication they are on, the sleep problems themselves, or depression. These causes would be treatable, but might no longer be pursued, since the “answer” was seen in the scan. (By the way, those treatable conditions are not associated with severe hippocampal atrophy, so the lack of atrophy might help point the physician in the right direction).

Also, a negative Amyvid scan does not guarantee a benign prognosis; it simply means the diagnosis is not Alzheimer’s. Other neurodegenerative diseases might be causing the patient’s complaints and they will be headed to dementia nonetheless. Imagine getting the “good news” that you do not have Alzheimer’s, based on the Amyvid scan. A patient poorly counseled by their physician might cancel their expensive long-term care insurance. Two years later, cognition has continued to decline (perhaps due to dementia with Lewy bodies, or Frontotemporal dementia) and the patient is now fully dependent on relatives for care. (I now see that I discussed this topic with you in a prior email, but since these prior paragraphs had a bit more info, I will leave them in the email).

Simply put, I think you should focus your efforts on working with a researcher that can look across the broad range of tests, APOE4, other Genetic tests, Amyvid, Volumetric MRI, CSF tests for amyloid/Tau/pTau, and specific cognitive tests that might give the patient’s physician a greater accuracy in assessment of AD, the same greater accuracy that you seem to fear is causing more harm than good. Please remember that these patients are coming to their physicians specifically asking for help and information. They are not being yanked off the street and tested against their will (yes, I did re-read your discussion of the tremendous pressures to gain more accurate information for reasons beyond optimal patient care- this is an issue that certainly extends well beyond this single test). Yes, one has to be conscious of the impact that bad news has on a patient. Resources should be given to help them and their families deal with the unfortunate information. For additional insight, expand your argument to other areas of medicine where terribly bad news is given- ALS, inoperable cancer, genetic abnormalities in one’s child… one could, sadly, go on and on. In each of these diagnoses, denial is an option- and in some cases, patients take that option.

I suggest that you pursue a collaboration with Jason Karlawash, an ethicist from the University of Pennsylvania, whose research and research funding includes work to address the questions you bring up. You would have a much wider impact that way. No doubt, your questions are timely. Good luck with your endeavors on this and I will keep my eyes open for articles that might be relevant.

Jim